Pain, Pain, Go Away, Come Again...NEVER! :)

I feel that I am pretty good at staying positive when it comes to living with Fibromyalgia. I cannot explain it, but the last 13 days or so, I have had a constant headache. Not just one that lingers around saying “Hey, remember me? I’m still here,” but full on, don’t open your eyes because the sunshine hurts. It has been a dull pain across the forehead along with sharp bursts of pain in the temples, base of the skull, and sometimes on the top of the head. Needless to say, it has not been fun. This is the first time, in a long time that I felt like I let my headaches win. Ever since I have been home from Spain, it has been non-stop at work. I knew I was coming home to very stressful projects at work, and I know that it’s a reason for part of the pain (so the lesson here, is to always be on vacation?! I wish). Well the two projects were completed and shipped off this past Friday, so I thought alright easy sailing from here, right? Not quite. I even had a really relaxing weekend, and I thought for sure this was going to go away. Yet, on Sunday I did my typical cleaning and errands and was planning on having dinner with one of my favorite families. Before dinner was even started, I went home. I left feeling so defeated and upset that I let this headache control my actions. I just knew that Monday was going to be so much better.
Before the 5:40 am alarm went off, I was awake and in massive pain. I told myself to suck it up and get ready for work. I did just that. Although once at work, I again had that nauseating feeling and felt I was going to pass out at any moment. Since my boss called in sick, there was no reason for me to be there. I was home by 10 am. On one of the most beautiful days, the last thing I wanted was for my headache to keep me inside. I grabbed a pillow and blanket and napped outside. The cool breeze and the cloud covered sun felt so good. I was using nature’s medicine to make me feel better. As wonderful as that felt, my head still hurt.
Enough about how much my head hurts, the thing that irked me the most is having my loved ones see me in pain. For some it was the first time they had seen me in a zombie state, as for others, this was nothing new. I think the majority of people who know me, would describe me as out-going and talkative, yet when my head hurts, I become really quiet and my eyes glaze over. (I don’t like to tell people when I am hurting, yet my mom always said she knew when she looked into my eyes). That’s really tough for me. I am private about Fibro. and even having a blog/writing about my situation is a struggle. So I guess by sharing my not-so-positive moments is also allowing me with finding my strengths.